Last week I gave a talk on Forgiveness to the lovely people at Bristol’s Theosophical Society. Millions of articles have been written on this subject and it is one that is dear to my heart because of Lama Yeshe’s attitude when Akong Rinpoche was killed. Rinpoche was the one person in my life that I trusted 100%. He had no ego and cared about everybody, no matter whom.

One of my favourite quotes is “Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison hoping the other person with die”. None of us willingly want to drink poison – and on a day to day level I certainly no longer do as I stopped drinking alcohol over 2 years ago!

Amongst my one to one clients are women who, like me, were in a relationship with a man who turned out to be a modern day vampire. The realisation of this can be a terrible shock and many of us end up with post traumatic stress disorder. The journey can be long and surprising but the outcome is worth it – once you realise that the most important thing on this journey we call life is to ‘enjoy the trip’ then you become aware that holding onto thoughts of past hurts makes no sense whatsoever. And using the RAIN exercise on my website will help you to deal with rumination.

Akong Rinpoche taught me the importance of compassion. I feel a great deal of compassion for the man who helped me to wake up to the ability to love myself, particularly as recent pictures show him to be a haunted man. I have escaped the relationship but sadly he cannot escape himself.

Christians talk about ‘Letting go and let God’. As a Buddhist, I advise people to ‘Let be and let karma’. Do not concern yourself with the karma of those who have hurt you. Instead, concern yourself with your own karma. Know that every thought word and deed contributes it. Therefore as far as forgiveness is concerned, you know it makes sense!